Let’s face it: no matter how many times we’ve been told that being a mom is the most important job in the world, we don’t fully believe it.
Sure, we do to a certain level, but then the doubt creeps in. We fight the doubts with will power of the mind, trying to tell ourselves “this is important, this is important.”
But it doesn’t always stick.
Add to that desires that we have beyond being a mother: dreams, goals, hobbies, work and it’s a recipe for guilt, which makes the doubt a constant friend.
Why do I feel like I’m missing a piece of myself?
Why do I feel like my identity is wrapped up in my kids but there’s more to me as a woman, as a human, than just being a mom?
And we say these words to ourselves, but we squash them down and don’t explore them as they should be.
While, as a Christian, I believe in God’s will, His perfect roles for families and that staying home with children is important work, it’s not the only work we have to do.
He doesn’t gift us with gifts for us to put them on a shelf and not use them. And to be clear, there is not one day I regret staying home and homeschooling my children. I loved having them right beside me on my life’s journey.
I love homeschooling and staying home. It’s my sanctuary.
But there’s more to me than that and I have never been afraid of exploring those parts of me.
Some of those explorations has taken me on this homesteading journey. And what a journey it’s been!
I was a scared, uncertain, timid young woman who really wasn’t sure of herself or what she was supposed to be doing.
Now I have a sense of purpose, an empowerment and a deep, abiding confidence that I wouldn’t have if it wasn’t for the trials and joys of working with the land.
Humbly, I still have a lot to learn, and do learn everyday. I seek out those wiser and more capable and know that I do not know it all.
But with that, I am sure of myself in a way I wasn’t 20 years ago. And in a way I wouldn’t have been if the animals and the land didn’t force me to step outside of myself and conquer those fears, trepidation and the constant doubt of my strengths.
They don’t wait around for you to hem and haw and doubt yourself.
You are ready or the consequences are severe!
This homesteading life is the reason I am the woman I am today. It’s why I thought I could run a marathon for the first time at age 40, why I thought I could adopt severely mentally ill children and succeed, why I homeschool, advocate for foster kids with senators, start businesses and do all of the things that I just go out and do.
Nature grabs you and holds on tight and is relentless in it’s laws. But what emerges because of these experiences, is a gritty kind of love and tenderness that came from nowhere but is there, wrapping it’s tendrils around your soul and showing you who you are.
And who you can become.